New Series:CiCHiatus
by zoobagt
Summary: A lighthearted, goodnatured spoof of the CiC episodes.
1. The Pilot

This is a spoof of the pilot episode (we've all seen the pilot, right?). I'm a total fan of CiC and wrote this in the spirit of fun. It's a light-hearted, good-natured parody, if you will. I just felt like having a good laugh while awaiting the return the show. Hope you find it entertaining. Now, on with show.

**Commander in Chief _HIATUS_**

Note: CiC_Hiatus _takes place in an alternate tv universe, where things take place differently. And again, this is a fun-spirited parody.

The scene opens in France, in a French elementary school auditorium where young French children have been assembled on stage and are singing "The Hokey Pokey" in French in tribute to the American dignitaries who are in the audience.

The Vice President, Mackenzie Allen is also among them, about 2 or 3 rows back, sitting with a rather placid smile. "When is this going to be over?" she thought to herself. "First we had to sit through 'Fifty Nifty United States' and now this!" Just before she was going to reach over and grab her husband Rod's hand and pray for deliverance, she sees Vince approaching with a puzzled look.

Vince leans in and begins to whisper "Mam we have a …"

"Great," Mac jumps up thankful for the chance to exit pushes past Vince and runs into the hallway. Vince, a little surprised runs to catch her and leads her into an alley behind the school. There they see Jim and Melanie Whackstone. Or is it Blackstone?

"Vince, what's going on? What are they doing here?"

"I don't know. We weren't given…"

Mac, cutting Vince off, "And why are we in an alley? I _am_ the Vice President. That _is_ the President's Chief of Staff I see right? Why are we in alley? There wasn't a classroom available or someplace more dignified? What a town!"

Befuddled, Vince begins to answer, "I don't know. We..."

Jim sees Max and walks over and talks over Vince. "Mam we came here to tell you personally. The President has a bleeding aneurism which has led to a stroke. He's in the hospital but doctors expect a full recovery."

Rod comes up from behind holding Mac's coat. "Safe to join?"

"No!" Jim and Melanie yell in unison.

"Hey," Mac answers back. "That's the _Deputy of Got My Back_ you're talking to." Clearly miffed, she turns her attention to Rod. "Rod,"

Hold on this is really classified information," Melanie interjects. "I don't think Rod"

"Shove it Melanie." Mac cuts in. "Rod, the president is dead and I'll be taking the oath. All hail the…"

"Hold on, wait. My Teddy, I mean President, is not dead. We're here to,"

"Tell you to resign." Melanie finished.

Mac a bit taken aback gathers her composure and looks at Melanie and Jim and then juts her full hand forward in a very trump-like manner. "You're fired!"

Jim winces. "You can't fire us like that. That's not how it works."

"And that is a little played out honey," Rod suggests.

"I guess your right…. But watch your backs." Mac stared Jim squarely in the eye as tense dramatic music began to swirl around them. Jim engaged her stare with his own, and then the game was on. Did Jim realize he was going up against the undefeated champ of _Stare-Chicken_? Mac had the game down and was now working her signature – icy, yet charming, fierce but oh-so-cool, thoughtfully intriguing, look of: _you've gotta be kidding me…I'm not backing down…do you know who you're talking to?...let me remind you_… Who would blink first? Dun dun dunnnn (or something to that effect).

After a strategic and crafty "hey look Jim, its Teddy!" from the DGMB (that's the Deputy of Got My Back) a distracted Jim conceded defeat and led the gang to Air Force One.

_Aboard Air Force One…_

Mac is standing before everyone about to delegate instructions. "As your Commander in Chief…"

Jim rolls his eyes. "You're not CiC yet."

The plane bumps violently along and Rod comes from the cockpit in an urgent manner. "There seems to be some rough weather ahead and the pilots are not confident they'll make it through so we're making a pit stop in Zurich until things calm down."

"What a town," Mac replies to the news. "Good thing I know how to fly one of these things. She says as she heads back to the cockpit. "Everyone buckle up."

Mac takes over piloting and single-handedly flies the plane back to Andrew's Air Force Base – in record time. Once they land and Mac rejoins the staff, everyone stands ands applauds and give their congratulations. This goes on for a good 45 minutes as random voices could be heard saying, "She's amazing!" "And smart." "She looks great." "How'd she do it?" She's the best!" and "At first I doubted her but now I think she's the best thing since sliced bread!"

Meanwhile Teddy Bridges does indeed pass away (though some say negligence killed him, as he was being treated at a student hospital where the students did not know how to use a defibrillator).

_In the Allen/Calloway Kitchen_…

Rod and Mac are walking in and see their children. Mac greets each of them with an affectionate "Babyyyyy."

"So my babies, what do you think about me as Prez? You know, this would mean that even though I was VP, we'll have to pretend like we know nothing about living in the public eye or that people are interested in invading our privacy."

"That's right," Rod added. "From here on out we'll act like we never expected our lives to change drastically and that it didn't already change drastically when your mother became the first female independent VP elected into office."

"We'll have to act like I somehow we always had all this time to spend as a family even though I was VP… and Chancellor of a university before that and in congress before that,"

"Let's not forget I was Attorney General and then your COS." Rod further adds.

"But only _now_ as Prez, we suddenly have no spare time." She looks around the room gauging the response. .Everyone seems to understand.

"I say go for it Mom," Horace says taking a break from the beer he's been guzzling. "I'm so sweet and agreeable that you are oblivious to any wrongdoing on my part so I completely support you."

"Awww baby." Mac smiles. Now turning her attention to Becca, she asks, "and what about you baby?"

Becca, who's been marching around the kitchen waiving protest signs that say "**Resign Now**", stops to answer. She puts the placards down, revealing a t shirt that says: I desperately crave attention and really, _really_ want to be my mom's best friend cuz I think she's AMAZING. But I am way too proud and stubborn to ever say so or do anything that may indicate this so…Resign Now.

"Its not what the people want." She mumbles.

Amy, who has grown to a good 120 pounds, puts aside the mega brownie she's been chewing on and takes a sip from her big gulp. "Will they put your face on sugar cookies?"

"Ahh, no."

"Oh. Well I love sugar cookies and mmpprhwmph," Amy shoves the last of the brownie in her mouth smearing chocolate all over her face.

Mac sighs and turns to Rod. "How do you feel bout that?"

Well, you know I've always dreamed of being President, so I'm happy to live vicariously through you until the executive producer gets the boot and the writers change direction."

"Again." Everyone in the kitchen chimes in.

"Ok," Mac says nodding. "Let's do this."

_Fast forward a few scenes_ and now a small group assembles at the VP home where Mac is readying to take the oath.

Nathan Templeton approaches her.

"I hear you were asked to resign. I think you should."

"Scram." Mac shoves past him.

He was flabbergasted. "She just blew me off," he thought. He goes to retry his intimidation tactics and follows Mac into the VP Library.

"Why do you want to be President?" he asks.

"For the same reasons Teddy Bridges did…"

"No, no. You want the power."

"Yes."

"WELL THAT'S THE PROB…wha?" Templeton's face fell. "I thought for sure you were going to say that wasn't you."

"Look, I'm taking the oath. Now get outta my way." She begins to briskly walk out of the room before turning around. "But before I do, maybe I can borrow your Bible?"

Mac could read the question playing out on his face. "Oh sure, I'm always praying and making references to "The Lord" but no, I do not have a Bible in this here extensive library of mine."

Still at a loss for words, Templeton reaches in his bag and hands her a Bible. Mac smiles, knowing that after being arch enemies with completely different ideals and morals for a couple of episodes, they'll be the best of friends…and then back to enemies…and then friends again… and then enemies…and then…

Next Time on CiC_Hiatus_…Mac has to choose a new VP and Rod, Jim and surprisingly Jayne, are drawing straws. Meanwhile Mac works on drafting a "no more sweets for children" initiative, aptly called "The Amy Bill."


	2. First Strike

Here is the parody of First Strike (I passed over First Choice)-- Finally! I got really busy, then got caught up in the 'will make it or won't it?'blitz surrounding the show. After news of the cancellation, I was mostly uninspired. But now with a possible movie - let the fun continue! Thanks everyone for your awesome reviews! I hope you enjoy this one too - more lighthearted fluff on the way.

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**Previously on CiC_Hiatus_** – Congress signs into existence the Amy Bill; Mac chooses to keep Jim on as her Chief of Staff, not so much because she completely trusts him yet, but more as a "in your face/watch my winning ways steal your guy right from under you" kind of decision to spite Templeton after that whole teleprompter incident; Mac surprises everyone and picks a wildcard to be her VP.

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The scene opens as the newly inaugurated president, Mackenzie Allen, is steadily rowing up the Potomac River. As she makes her way through the relatively tranquil waters, she thoughtfully reflects on her situation.

"I can't believe the sun is shining this brightly on such an early October morning in Washington, D.C.," She thought. "It sure feels like 10 or 11."

She rows on, unaffected by the security motorboats ahead and behind her, the choppers whirring overhead, the underwater security detail swimming alongside her, the snipers positioned as best possible in the trees along the banks, the security motorcade driving along I-95 adjacent to the river, and the Secret Service positioned at various mile markers on the trails that ran through the park that surrounded the river.

Agent 1 to Agent 2: "We have to suggest jogging."

Eventually Mac docks on a bank under an overpass where Vince has been waiting to meet her. "Morning Mam. You have a meeting with the Chair of the APAC in the SRTC with the RANB at 8:30."

"OK," Mac responds, signaling to the security force that her workout is officially over. "What should I know?"

"Uh," Vince began consulting his notes. "Let's see. You have a meeting with the Chair of the APAC in the SRTC with the RANB at 8:30?"

"No, no. Give me the important details. Is he a lover or a fighter?"

"That info is above my security clearance Mam, but word on the street is that he's a hugger."

Mac processes this news as Joan rappels down the side of the overpass to meet up with the President.

"Joan. Tell me everything," Mac calls.

Joan at first looks perplexed, but then breaks into a huge grin. "Well, last night Billy finally asked me out and we went salsa dancing and let me just say…"

"Everything about my kids," Mac says in an exasperated tone just as Joan was reaching for her camera phone to show the prez some pics of her evening.

"Oh. Everything is in place – posts, surveillance, background checks, metal detectors, drug sniffing dogs, student spies…"

"Good. Big change. Maybe I should take them myself," Mac suggests.

Vince and Joan look at each other and laugh until they see Mac shooting them serious glares. Then Mac begins to laugh.

"Psyche!" Mac says in this unusually jocular moment. "I haven't taken the kids to school in yeeeaaars! And they're going to the same school! Besides. I have meeting with a hugger."

All kidding aside, Mac turns to Joan and issues a stern warning. "I'm trusting you with my kids here."

Joan thought this last statement was a little over the top. "Does she tell everyone this?" Joan pondered as she strapped up to climb back up the overpass. "Better me than the bus driver. And what about Waverly who sneaks sweets in to Amy at night? Or that mysterious nanny who shows up for one scene and then disappears forever?"

_Meanwhile…_

Templeton, Jayne and Congressman Willie Wilcox have been in Templeton's backyard discussing ways to bring the Allen Administration down by way of Mac's choice for VP. Templeton had little faith in Willie as a source after he called his very small lap-dog a "magnificent beast".

After much thought, Willie offers some possibly damaging info. "You know how she thinks Keaton doesn't have a duplicitous bone in his body? Well he's duplicitious alright!"

Templeton rolls his eyes.

"He pinky swore he'd enter as a Republican and then he went Democrat!" Willie continued.

"Sounds pretty dup boss," Jayne added.

"Why he…he…" Struggling to find the right word, Willie pulled out his _Fake Words That Start with the Letter 'T' That Can Be Used for Dramatic Effect Reference Guide_. "There's a good one. He turncoated!"

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Back in the hallway of the residence, Becca, the straight-A student, is on the phone with Stacey.

"What's that Stacey? Oh yeah I missed it. Remember? I was out looking for my diary. Remember I called out on the front lawn of the White House thinking no one could see me and that I could simply catch a cab. What's that you say? Stupid? I know," She laughs. "Wait 'till I have you and some other classmates over when my parents are out of town!"

On her way into the kitchen Mac stops short noticing the brown crumbs all over Amy's face and new "I Support the Amy Bill" t-shirt.

"Amy what's that you're eating?" she asks.

"Oh just a bran muffin Mommy. Just like you told me," Amy says while hiding the chocolate chip pancakes under the table.

Mac grins in approval as she sits down to her own stack of pancakes that have been buttered generously and loaded up with syrup and whipped cream.

"Ready for school gang?" Rod asks looking at his less than enthused kids.

"Dibs on driving," Horace calls out.

Rod and Mac exchange proud nods, pleased their kids were taking so well to the whole "pretend like nothing has changed" routine.

"Secret Service will take you," Mac answers back. "And I want you guys to be prepared. Now that I am the Prez, you all are celebrities."

"Overnight sensations really. Way more popular than when you were just the VP's loser kids a week ago," Rod adds. "Now we're all somebodies. Everyone will be dying for pictures and autographs."

Becca was skeptical. She tried to think of the last time the American President's kids were hounded by paparrazi on the way to school. She couldn't. "Whatever," she sighed.

Just then Jim enters with an urgent look on his face. "Mam you're needed in the SitRoom. We'll have to push our prep sessions with Keaton."

Rod, hearing this, pushes back the slice of humble pie he has been eating, grabs his briefcase and races out of the kitchen. "I'm on it," he shouts as he hurdles over Nora who was on the way to see him.

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As Mac approaches the SitRoom, the door is swung open and the call for 'AttenTion' goes out and all rise and salute. Mac couldn't help but admit to herself that hearing that command and having everyone snap to attention really gives her a thrill.

"It wouldn't harm anyone to do it again," she muses and then walks backs out.

Just as everyone, a bit perplexed, begin to sit again she reenters. "AttenHut!" Everyone jumps back up.

"Oh, one more time," Mac thinks. "they don't like me anyway." She turns and walks back out and then back again and again until she is practically jumping in out of the door with one half her body. The guard tries to keep up with disjointed calls of "Atten," "Ate, "Ah," "tion?"

"I'm sorry everyone," Mac says laughing hysterically. "Please sit down," she says to the room who by now is out of breath, half standing and half sitting. "What's the situation?"

General Wolfe responds. "Agents have been killed in San Pasqual."

"Does anyone know their names?" Mac asks.

"Yes Madame President," Wolfe answers. "Preliminary intel reports indicate their wives, children, some neighbors and all of the major credit companies."

Attorney General Melanie Blackstone who is seated at the table dressed in fatigues with an oozie strapped to her back joins the conversation. "Its time to take action. With all _dis_ respect Mam, this is no time for a weak leader."

Mac silently wonders how many more episodes there would be before she could give Melanie the axe. "I want to talk to General Sanchez."

"Mam," Wolfe starts. "The leader of the free world does not give audience to a…a…" Wolfe, who just so happens to have the same Fake Words with the letter 'T' reference guide that Congressman Willie has, flips through a couple of pages until he finds something really fake and really dramatic.. "…to a Thugocracy!"

Melanie, who has been adding combat paint to her face, interjects again. "We need to fly Sanchez in here, strap him to the Oval's desk and torture him."

"He needs to hear my ultimatum," Mac solemnly notes. "He needs to hear it from the President and he needs to hear it in…my Spanish."

Gasps could be heard around the room. A baby cries. Jim faints.

"Make the call happen."

Moments later the President is patched through to the Thug-o-cratic General.

"Are these tourists you are calling about?" Sanchez asks.

Jim jumps in. "Yes General. Its mere coincidence that they happened to all be men built like fighting machines with the same buzz haircut."

"I see. Well have a nice a day," Sanchez starts to hang up.

"One moment General," Jim says reaching for his soundproof earphones. "We're calling for an investigation."

"Or else what?" Sanchez taunts.

Jim signals Mac to go ahead. "General," Mac starts in Spanish. "General?"

Silence. Then a shook Sanchez weakly responds. "Wait, wait…"

"General, este es un anuncio importante…"

"Ok, ok. You win. Please please. No. No more Spanish," Sanchez shrieks out between cries and unitelligble babble. "I surrender. Whatever you want. Aye dios mios!"

Mac hangs up and issues the order to get President Juan Valdez (who fled to Georgetown and has since been trying to open a coffee chain big enough to rival Starbucks) back to San Pasqual and its burgeoning coca, er, coffee trade.

_Meanwhile…_

Amy and Tommy meet up on a weird middle-of-the-school-day field trip-ish romp through some part of the White House.

"Hi," Tommy says. "My mom's busy today."

"Why _is_ she still here?" Amy wonders.

"This is my nanny," Tommy motions to a lady standing to his left.

Amy nodded towards the lady shadowing her. "This is my dietician slash personal trainer."

"Interesting fact. This sign is wrong." Tommy points to a plaque on the wall.

"Mmmm. Not that interesting actually," Amy comments.

"Well you'll never see your mommy again."

"Well actually I bust into her bedroom uninvited every night. Besides as long as I've got Waverly giving me the goods, I'll be fine." Amy winks and then heads off for her daily weigh in.

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The rest of the day moves rapidly along.

-After a meeting with Mac in the Oval, Templeton suffers what he thinks is a mild heart attack after realizing by way of flashback that he could have been president if he just accepted Teddy "Bear" Bridges offer so many months ago. Then he realized he was just suffering from acid reflux and reasoned that perhaps those AF1 cookies weren't all that great after all.

-Rod spends the day trying to shake Norabox (half robot, half Botox gone bad) and lay the smackdown on Keaton.

-The Twins arrive to school and step out of the limo to only be met by a few local access stations including PBS, NPR and WETA.

-Becca admits that she hates public school and mingling with the "regulars." Her mother tells her that even though she and her father went to public school in the sixties in an upperclass, suburban Connecticut neighborhood, it was important that she too make history by being one of the first First Children to go to one of D.C.'s public schools. And then reminds her about her public school pals Jenny and Mimi.

-Mac receives praise and honor from across the globe due to her amazing tactical abilities. Juan Valdez is successfully reinstated as President. Sanchez is committed to a mental institution and his militants are disbanded. Millions of kids across America struggling in their language classes are encouraged by the Presidents shining example, now realizing their troubling foreign language accents can be an asset in the "fight against terrorism."

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**Next Time on CiC_Hiatus_**…Mimi and Jenny drop out of high school…Becca makes a new fake friend with a shady guy named Mike…Mac commissions an investigative team to find out who has been smuggling goodies into Amy at night…Templeton spends the afternoon with his magnificent beast trying to come up with witty remarks, puns and double entendres to try and rattle the President out of office…Mac throws the administration a curve ball and speaks Russian - well.


End file.
